The Motorcycle Humble Servant to Man | Last Page

Is there a single acre on this glorious verdant orb we call Earth that hasn't been touched by perhaps the noblest of man's creations, the motorcycle? We think not!

Whether it's the nitro-burning, paddle-tired dirt rider who strip-mines fragile wetlands trailing a bloody hail of mutilated endangered vermin, to stunting hooligans aboard turbocharged Hayabusas who maintain their amphetamine-addled 200-mph vigil of near-deserted late-night streets so that we might sleep safe in our warm beds, comforted by the bandsaw wail of their open pipes, each comprises a single glistening thread in the incredibly rich tapestry that is motorcycling.

Crap. I hate when I cut-and-paste from the Sierra Club website.

Where were we? Right. So can you possibly imagine a more noble use for that great public servant, the motorcycle, than to bulldog a disabled or illegally parked automobile to the nearest impound yard? The Retriever (from squeaky-clean Scandinavia) is essentially a Special Ops version of a tow truck, built out of an unsuspecting Honda Gold Wing. (We're guessing the conversion just might void the factory warranty.) Designed to lane-split through gridlocked cars that would stymie a conventional tow truck, the Retriever can maneuver to the very heart of a traffic blockage. The fold-out towing system deploys in about two minutes, and includes a set of wheels with disc brakes linked to the bike's brake system to handle the extra weight of the towed vehicle-a maximum of 5500 pounds. Maximum speed with a car in tow is just 20 mph, so the Retriever is limited to close-quarters urban missions.

Imagine the positive impact on motorcycling's image that a surgical strike with a Retriever would create. The noble Retriever lane-splits to the offending vehicle, then valiantly tows the stalled clunker away as grateful motorists honk their horns with appreciation. A feel-good moment for motorcycling...right up until the rider forgets the width of his cargo and tries to lane-split his way back to the towing yard.