Forget what the brochures say. These aren't supermoto bikes. Not supermoto as in supermotard, as in the French fusion of roadracing and motocross run on go-kart tracks with some dirt and a jump thrown in to keep things interesting. For the most part, they're crafty exercises in niche marketing. Naked twins dressed up to emulate the sort of thing Benny Carlson and Mark Burkhart back into corners for a living.

R-model Ducatis have traditionally been the flagships in Ducati's range. And they've carried the price tags to match. The previous-generation, $30,000 999R was one of our favorite motorcycles, with tractability, suspension and steering precision that let it rival much more powerful four-cylinder literbikes. The $40,000 1098R doesn't just rival them; it leaves them for dead.

On the map it looks like one more intriguing twisty bit running through the Santa Lucia Range between California's arid midsection and the Pacific Ocean. The actual 16 miles of pavement you traverse to get from one to the other are a different story. For 99 percent of the motoring public, the 16-mile narrow-gauge confusion of potholes, kinks, coils and blind switchbacks is an exercise in abject terror. Gold Wing? Forget it. Ducati 1098? Notify your next of kin. But on Kawasaki's latest KLR650, it's paradise.

Almost everybody's got one: a road that stands out in their mental Rolodex of two-wheeled experiences, a personal stretch of undulating asphalt where everything just seems to click together.

Pity the humble electric starter. Every time it comes to lighting the biggest Big Twin in Harley-Davidson history, it has to persuade a pair of pistons through air-cooled bores bigger than what you'll find in a 487-cubic-inch Dodge Viper V-10. Rain or shine. Hot or cold. Without the tireless efforts of the stout little 1.4 kW electric motor, its faithful solenoid sidekick and an automatic compression release, Milwaukee's strongest production V-twin in 104 years might just sit there, lost in an expanse of chrome, billet and metallic lacquer.

mon·ster (`mn(t)-st&r) noun
Etymology: Middle English monstre, from Middle French, from Latin monstrum omen, monster, from monEre to warn. 1 a : an animal of abnormal form or structure b : one who deviates from normal or acceptable behavior or character. 2 : a threatening force. 3 a : an animal of strange or terrifying shape b : one unusually large for its kind. 4 : something monstrous; especially : a person of unnatural or extreme ugliness, deformity, wickedness, or cruelty. 5 : one that is highly successful

Looks, despite all appearances, aren't everything. Charlize Theron, for instance, might be less captivating once one has, say, become more familiar with her than she is onscreen. It's entirely possible her current paramour might be contemplating his next move. A move toward a woman who, while not quite possessing Ms. Theron's stunning visage, might employ other talents he finds more enduringly persuasive.

Whatever else you do, do not walk into your local Yamaha dealer and ask to see "one of them-there Eff-Jay-Arr 13 automatics." Why? Because it's liable to wind up a Yamaha sales associate like an old Fisher-Price toy.

Merriam-Webster's definition fits Ducati's Monster as well as any and better than most. But you won't find a Monster more worthy of that name than the 118-horsepower, Ohlins-suspended, blood-red '07 S4Rs, which is a very good thing. Give Ducati credit for defining the modern production naked bike in '93 with the original M900. But up until now, the Monster, even the heretofore-definitive 109-horse S4R, wasn't all that monstrous compared with, say, BMW's 141-horse K1200R or Triumph's 120-horse Speed Triple. Fun? Loads. But it felt, well, old, with ergonomics and handling that were an acquired taste at best.

According to Miguel Galluzzi, the Argentinean designer who dreamed up this whole Monster thing in the first place, "all you need is a saddle, tank, engine, two wheels and handlebars." That's an apt description of any Monster, and doubly so when it comes to the new S2R 1000. OK, so the monstrous S4Rs is more impressive the more you're impressed by raw power and sexy parts. But this new middle-spec Monster is truer to Galluzzi's original stripped-down ideal-and at $9995, being $5000 cheaper hardly hurts. The ergonomic challenges of a wide 'bar and high pegs are just as painful here, and unless you buy shoes in the kid's department, there's not much room for your boots. But otherwise, there's precious little to complain about.

It takes most people five or six hours to ride from Los Angeles to Laguna Seca Raceway in Monterey. We, as most of you have already figured, are not most people. Deadline stress and the first motorcycle Grand Prix on U.S. tarmac since 1994 dictated something more therapeutic than 325 miles of freeway. Besides, with some 80,000-plus fans converging on California's postcard-perfect Monterey Peninsula from every direction, our regular routes would be choked with motorcycling humanity along with the California Highway Patrol. Just as we learned the Primedia corporate jet was in for an oil change, the phone rang.

Four Seasons accommodations on a Motel 6 budget is no oxymoron. It's a clean, used Honda GL1800. More fun to ride than ever before, an all-new 1832cc flat-six meant it wasn't for the Metamucil set anymore. A revelation (even for a company accustomed to producing such things), the aluminum-framed Wing made building luxury tourers so expensive that no other manufacturer--with the theoretical exception of BMW--wanted to play.

Despite mashing the scales with 898 pounds of wet weight, masterful centralization of said mass, a stiff chassis and 110 pound-feet of torque--80 percent of which comes online at 2250 rpm --create an implausible amalgam of Coupe de Ville and Corvette. From getting more wind protection out of a smaller fairing to a single-sided aluminum swingarm that makes rear tire changes somewhat less painful, the third-generation GL made anything less including its predecessors obsolete overnight. Still, the first motorcycle with a dozen fewer parts than an '01 Honda Civic wasn't perfect.

The first thing you'll notice is a low seat that fits short riders better than tall ones. Hide-bound Wingers weren't happy about the switch from no-maintenance hydraulic adjusters to shims and buckets, and they didn't like cam chains replacing cam belts, either. There were teething troubles. Early 1800s would overheat in low gear on hot days, partially because of the side-mounted radiators that made them slim. Revised ECU modules from Honda remedied that. Imprecise temperature gauges on some '01 models--also replaced under warranty--didn't help either. And though few bikes were actually affected, Honda checked the lower cross-member welds on every Wing that might not be quite right.

There were some bad kill switches in '01, and bank-angle sensors that might have come loose in '02 and '03. But any conscientious owner should have exterminated all the bugs. Doubts? A quick check of the VIN number in question at any cooperative Honda dealership will put aspiring new owners at ease.

Caveats? Heavyweight comfort takes its toll in tires and gasoline. The six can get indigestion on regular unleaded, which it can digest at the rate of 30 miles to the gallon if you're in haste. And don't expect a rear tire to live longer than 5000 miles. Still, a nice, pre-owned '01 for $8000 less than a new '05 is smart money well spent.

CHEERS
Transcontinental opulence that's startlingly sporty
JEERS
898 pounds of fun is 102 pounds short of a half-ton
WATCH FOR
Scrupulous maintenance, proof of adherence to applicable recalls and service bulletins, sloppy steering head bearings, damaged driveshaft boot on early models
VERDICT
The sultan of sumptuous two-wheel travel, plus enough muscle and moves to tell the world you haven't gone soft in the gums
VALUE
'01 - $11,030 $11,730 w/ABS
'04 - $13,375 $14,040 w/ABS

In the beginning, all bikes were naked, just like Adam and Eve. And it was good.And lo, the naked bike begat the touring bike, the cruiser bike, the sportbike and then ... the naked bike.

Not so much a race-replica as a TT-F1 racer you could hang a license plate on, Honda's RC30 had come and gone before most of us realized what we'd missed. As the 1980s gave way to the '90s, V-four engines replaced the inline layout as Honda's corporate performance signature. Developed to show the world what Honda could do if cost was no object, the RC30 was originally offered in Europe in '88. By the time Honda brought it to America in '90, the bike had won two World Superbike titles under expatriate American Fred Merkel.

Moments later I have to slow for traffic, and my chance to feel the Triumph bashing up against its rev limiter in top gear--as it was about to do--is gone, and gone for good. Daytona's streets are clogged with bikes and police, and I don't need to be reminded that the last time I rode a turbo-bike here it cost me $250 after being speed-trapped at just over 100 mph. And the world's first Rocket III turbo has the horsepower to be a whole lot more expensive than the Bonneville I was riding then.

Say you're the head of design for a motorcycle company with what seems like a pretty simple assignment: Build a midsized, go-anywhere, do-anything streetbike for the American market. Make it respectably quick, reasonably comfortable and rationally priced. It has to work on the street, on the test track and in your prospective customers' neural pleasure centers. It's not enough to be right in some sterile, objective sense. It has to feel right.

"So what's it like?
"It's fast!"

It's late afternoon and still cold under the low winter sun. There are quite a few cars on the N8 as it snakes from the old home of the Bol d'Or at Paul Ricard to the Mediterranean Sea, but the Triumph Speed Triple's rapid pace is rarely broken as it howls down the road. The bike cranks through the bends with an easy precision, its 1050cc three-cylinder engine punching hard out of turns and the lack of a fairing emphasizing its raw, addictive performance.

130-plus horsepower, exotic materials and high-end build quality make Confederate's F124 Hellcat the Bimota of the bayous

With an inviting ribbon of two-lane unfurling ahead and 88 cubic inches of Milwaukee's finest down below, life has a way of decelerating to a more manageable pace. Let the hypercaffeinated Type A inhabitants of the fast lane rip past. Basking in the adulation of his passing subjects, the King is unconcerned. A Paris Hilton lookalike slows her Porsche to gawk. Three-piece suits in four-door sedans are visibly covetous, wondering what it's like to be this cool.

When we were putting our July 2005 issue together, the performance stats for the Buell Lightning XB9SX CityX versus Kawasaki Z750S comparison article somehow got left behind.For those who have been wondering, they are below.

Nothing succeeds like success. Even 13 years after making its showroom debut as a three-cylinder tarmac trailie which over the years has gradually evolved into a totally tarmac GT adventure tourer (see history sidebar below), Triumph's go-anywhere Tiger triple continues to rack up a strong volume of sales which evidently confounds even the expectations of the British marque's management, judging by the fact the 2005 model year's total planned production of around 3000 bikes has already sold out. So, rather than manufacture an extra batch of '05 hardware to meet ongoing demand, Triumph have instead decided to bring forward production of the enhanced 2006 version of the model, which thanks to the changeable nature of springtime in Britain, I had the chance to spend a week riding in all weather conditions (the snow didn't last long, though!) during an exclusive advance test.

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was the spring of hope. It was the winter of despair... Hold on, wrong story. Ease your eyes over the quintessential Italian wrist rocket--Ducati's latest R-spec 999. It's unquestionably the finest production twin-cylinder sportbike ever offered to the paying public. In the right hands, this 139-horsepower, 452-pound synthesis of surgical handling and carbon-fiber sex appeal is all but invincible. For 30 grand, the paying public expects no less.

In The Wild One, Lee Marvin rode a Harley-Davidson and his rival Marlon Brando rode a Triumph. The two machines mirrored the actors' characters, the Harley reflecting Marvin's brawling, in-your-face role and the Triumph illustrating Brando's brooding, sensitive one.

As Triumph started leaking hints and concept photos of the outrageous new Rocket III a certain feeling of deja vu settled over the hallowed Motorcyclist offices. We recalled the launch—and we do mean launch—of the amazing Yamaha V-Max 20 years earlier.