EL SEGUNDO, CALIF.,
JULY 28, 2012 —
Jaws dropped when Motorcyclist’s Editor in Chief Brian Catterson announced his departure from the magazine at the elderly title’s senselessly and perhaps incautiously lavish 100-year anniversary party. Free beer? Hot food? Normally we have to bring shrimp from home.
Inquiring minds (those not addled by the vindaloo chicken wings and infarction-inducing pasta dishes) wanted to know: What was this, some sort of coup d’état? Pressure from the sinister taskmasters upstairs? [We don’t have an upstairs, Karr. —Ed.] Or maybe more of a Cottonelle® “Clean Getaway?” Catterson, improbably dark mane gleaming in the spotlight, chin pumping to the Rush soundtrack he’d slipped into the MOTY videos, wouldn’t be drawn out.
Ostensibly, Catterson said he quit so that he might “ride more.” It’s an ironic reality of captaining this media empire that there’s only a bit of time for riding and a lot more set aside for the diligent fogging of the deckhands so that they might produce the requisite number of rearranged words every month. And the cat o’ nine tails grows so very, very heavy.
But is that the whole story? Oh, certainly not. A contact at NGK told us a new intern luggapper looked suspiciously like Catterson, a rumor lent credence when he said the new hire preferred to work only on the B9ES plug. And documents obtained by Last Page suggest he may be taking a crack at nabbing the oldest Rookie-of-the-Year title on the Grand National circuit; a well-worded entry form was submitted miraculously complete and properly punctuated. That just doesn’t happen in nature. And how about AXE-For-Seniors, now looking for a spokesmodel? The man remains a 6-foot 4-inch, mid-life enigma, wrapped in a signifcant amount of unruly hair.
All speculation, of course. So what’s really next for the fresh-faced Catterson? Here’s an idea: Imagine the simple purity of a man, a motorcycle and unlimited chicks. Brian, let us know. We can make some calls.