Last Page - "Filthification" of Motorcycling Concerns Parents, Delights Gen-Y

Given the ongoing cultural freefall that grips America, perhaps the disturbing new direction of motorcycling isn't surprising. With that skank Lady Gaga role-modeling for today's fresh-faced youth and those potty-obsessed Charmin bears dancing around grassy meadows on our wide-screen LCDs, decorum is officially DOA.

Sure, us motorcyclists are still out riding, having fun and flattening the usual number of low-flying locusts on our face shields. But since when does a hooligan stunt show need to feature a disquieting and provocative physical interaction between rider and passenger? And with unisex protective gear blurring clearly defined traditional gender lines, there's even more to worry about. If that's a woman, shouldn't she at least be wearing a leather bustier and Kevlar thigh-high stockings? It's scary enough to defy gravity, but let's please not rattle our comfortable gender stereotypes, so carefully crafted over thousands of generations!

Thankfully there are forces at work in motorcycling that aim to shore up the slippery slope of immorality. Most right-thinking racing organizations are now requiring gender-specific protective equipment, such as the tasteful getup shown here, that enhances the female racer's form, while leaving no question in male racers' minds what they're dealing with.

It's a small step, admittedly, but an important one. Now we just need to figure out how to stop those bears from using up all our Charmin. Shouldn't they be feasting on the gutted carcass of the Activia Lady or something?