Breaking Away | Fashion Police

By Annette Carrion, Photography by Nik Fialka

Oh, those lazy hazy crazy days of summer, when the hills are alive with spandex-clad cyclists living out their maillot jaune (yellow jersey) fantasies. Except I’m pretty sure motors aren’t allowed in the Tour de France…

This Lance Harmstrong wannabe was spotted pedaling eastbound on I-66 in Fairfax. Virginia state law requires motorcyclists to wear DOT, ANSI or SNELL-approved helmets, but the last time I checked, SNELL didn’t stand for “Stop Now, Everyone’s Looking, Loser.” Or was that Lover? Virginia is for lovers, right?

Of course, this poor, misguided soul might just need guidance. Maybe he isn't aware that a Styrofoam beer cooler perched precariously atop one’s noggin can’t withstand a 70-mph get-off or a 400-lb. sportbike worn as a hat. If ever there was a candidate for drug testing…

Seriously—a bicycle helmet?! But give this guy some credit for color-coordination: Those purple kicks match his Yamaha perfectly—as will the inevitable roadrash! Have you seen someone breaking the laws of fashion? Send a photo to, Attention: Fashion Police.

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Yes, a bicycle helmet would be about as effective as a beer cooler or those fake Wehrmacht helmets worn by some cruiser riders.  That is why, unlike proper moto helmets, the bicycle headgear has been demonstrated to be ineffective in preventing serious brain trauma.
  • Motorcyclist Online