Nineties Neon | Fashion Police

By Annette Carrion, Photography by Bob Clarke

Sigh… there are so many things wrong with this photo, it’s not even funny. It’s hilarious!

Let’s start with the passenger. Wow, what a mess-and-a-half!

Zebra onesie: $55 (American Apparel, eh?)

Heat-resistant sneakers: $100

Making sure your backpack is adequately protected: Priceless.

I don’t even know where to start with the rider. Bono shades, neoprene facemask, baggy jeans ready to get caught in the chain... At least he’s wearing gloves—probably to keep from leaving fingerprints in the bank he’s going to rob!

But the real culprit is the motorcycle. Where did they even find this relic? From what the older guys around here tell me (and believe me, they’re all older), the 1991 Honda CBR600F2 was the middleweight to have back in the day. Whatev’! The ’90s paged 9-1-1; they want their neon-pink sportbike back!

Don’t let this be you. Friends, mirrors and spray paint can work wonders. Let’s just hope this guy never actually let go of the brake lever...

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