Senior Editor's note: Apparently, Mitch, Tim and I are just lightweights, at least compared to Art Director Todd Westover. The three of us all claim to want to do everything possible for the readers. But have we fallen off lately to help you know how our kit stands up to tarmac-inflicted abuse? Well, no. It took our punk rock drummer to selflessly throw himself to the ground on the bumpy entrance to Willow Springs' Turn Three. What's more, this was the very first time Todd had fallen off a streetbike. Here's how he tells it:
I'd been following Mitch all morning, both of us taking it easy. Then The Butcher turns the pace up a notch. "I can do this," I think. The next moment I'm sliding on my ass following the bike into the sagebrush. A broken right thumb and a powdered-sugar R6 doughnut later and I'm feeling real stupid. Stupid, but grateful and happy. Grateful to have been wearing such functional, high-quality gear, and happy I came home virtually unscathed.
> Although the Joe Rocket GPX gloves ($99.99) performed reasonably well, there's nothing they could have done about my broken thumb. That happened because as I was sliding I put my hands down to balance myself; I've heard you have to fall off eight or nine times to learn not to do that. That's comforting, as this was my very first fall on a streetbike. There's an additional layer of leather sewn over the palms; the one on the left glove tore and the stitching blew out, but the layer beneath it stayed intact. My palm suffered no abrasions. The molded plastic protectors on the thumb and side of the palm both cracked, but again, I wasn't injured. Overall, the GPX gloves performed admirably and were quite comfortable until that point. (800) 635-6103, www.joerocket.com
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>Skidding along a racetrack on your butt at 60 mph is not nearly as fun as it sounds. That said, it could have been a lot worse. The Joe Rocket Speedmaster one-piece suit ($999.99) worked brilliantly. I felt a little heat on my backside, but there was no bruising on my left shoulder or elbow. On the left arm the relatively thin leather with the logo printed on it got pretty abraded, and it's coming off because the stitching wore through. Besides a few scrapes and abrasions, though, the Speedmaster suffered no tears through the leather and no burst seams. Given how little damage the suit sustained, I plan to wear it on our next track outing. (800) 635-6103, www.joerocket.com
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> Sidi's Vertigo boots ($275) also worked flawlessly. I've been wearing these boots on the street for a while, and I have no complaints whatsoever. The Vertigos are very comfortable, they're easy to get on and take off, and they're OK to walk around in. The plastic ankle protector got pretty ground-up in the crash, but its integrity remains intact. (And unlike a lot of boots, it's easily replaceable when I'm ready to dig out the screw.) Likewise, the plastic side-vent tab got slightly flat-spotted, but it still works. (877) 789-4940, www.motonation.com
FAT, FATTER & PHATTEST: ELEPHANTINE RUBBER
Metzeler ME880
The African elephant is the largest living land mammal, said to weigh up to 11 tons. Apt, then, that the ME880 rear tire, with 58 choices up to 280mm wide (that's 58 for V-twin-powered bikes alone), comes from a company with an elephant for its logo--Metzeler Motorcycle Tire. Tested and developed in the U.S.A., the ME880 comes in four different constructions: bias, belted, radial and Metzeler's patented zero-degree steel-belted radial. Suggested retail prices range from $114.95 to $219.95 for fronts and $175.95 to $317.95 for rears, depending on size and construction. www.metzelermoto.com
RAMP IT UP
Ramp Master Ramp
For some of us, loading a bike into a truck or van mimics the worst aspects of a high-wire act; working without a net and a fear of falling take center stage. Fortunately for us, Ramp Master has developed an aluminum and stainless steel ramp it claims is 40 percent lighter than other designs. The company also says the ramp's removable hinged pin makes it one of the longest ramps (for easier loading) while allowing you to separate it into portions that fit in standard pickups. Prices range from $174 to $585. (800) 231-8999, www.ramp-master.com
SUITS YOU TO A T (HANDLE)
CruzTools PowerDrive Sliding T-Handle With Socket Set
True tool devotees might sneer at such a paltry offering, if only they could see over their roll cab/top box combos. But for most of us, CruzTools' PowerDrive sliding T-handle with a socket set might be all we ever need. The set consists of (naturally) a T-handle and eight forged, heat-treated and chromed 3⁄8-in. drive sockets: 8mm, 10mm, 12mm, 14mm and 17mm six-point hexes; 5mm and 6mm Allens; and a No. 2 Phillips. The sliding handle allows extra leverage so you can snap 5mm fasteners with ease. At $26.95 with a vinyl pouch, CruzTools' set is a screaming deal for some of the most useful tools a motorcyclist can own. (888) 909-8665, www.cruztools.com
STICK OUT A PLATE AND SAY, "AHHH"
Deltran Battery Tender Battery Tester PST-100
Here's an item for the comfortably well-off or the obsessive compulsive (or both): Deltran's Battery Tender Battery Tester PST-100. This little (1 pound) unit requires no external power and can measure a bike's charging-system output as well as the battery's cold-cranking capacity. What's more, Deltran says its PST-100 can tell you your battery's state of health (whether it needs a simple charge or is too dead to bury) in just 5.5 seconds and even works on discharged batteries. MSRP is $249.95; you just know Jay Leno has one in his garage, or wishes he did. (386) 736-7900, www.batterytender.com
GET ON UP THERE
Pit Bull Forward Handle Stand
If your motorcycle was an accomplished devotee of certain religions, it could levitate, making service work vastly easier. Given that such devotion is unlikely at best, you might consider a service stand from Pit Bull Products Inc. as an alternative. One of the firm's newest models is this forward handle rear stand, with the lift handle pointing forward rather than to the rear of the bike. Pit Bull says the design (which can be used with or without spools) saves space and can be more user-friendly than conventional stands. MSRP is $139. (877) 533-1977, www.pit-bull.com