When Bob Bryson’s Ossa Pinoneer’s carb stuck WFO, it was all hands on deck to fix it. Here
A sewer line burst in the basement one time, and before we could say Rooter Man! black mold was spreading faster than herpes in a freshman dorm. Big surprise, I recently noticed my garage was the same way—only instead of mold it was growing a mound of derelict vintage dirtbikes, including three Ossas, a Ducati scrambler and a bumblebee-striped Yamaha. Several actually ran, but the more I looked at them, the more it pissed me off that they weren’t being used. That had to change.
Since misery loves company, last fall I began soliciting kindred deviants to embark on what I called The First Annual Vintage P.O.S. Dirt Ride. I e-mailed 63 motorcycle friends who own (or at least have expressed interest in) vintage bikes. We’ll make a day of it in the mountains, I chirped. It’ll be like old times, I promised. There will be plenty of beer afterwards—as long as you bring it. Though more than half wrote back, most of them said, Sorry, meaning they weren’t interested in actually riding old sleds. That left a dozen or so likely contenders, but the effort of acquiring both a green sticker and a spark arrestor flung several others out of the pond, until we were left with nine.
What do you expect for $700—oil in the forks? Hudson’s Suzuki TS185 had everything but tha
Early Saturday morning, like the tide sweeping flotsam onto a beach, the bikes arrived. Former AMA roadracer and new Bonneville 210-mph record-holder Ralph Hudson arrived with a freshly acquired 1974 Suzuki TS185 in tow. Discovered on Craigslist, it was outfitted with a vintage desert tank and oversized headlight, and looked straight out of the Baja 1000. He paid all of $700 for it, and it ran great. With him was realtor and AHRMA vintage roadracer Bob Bryson, who was still recovering from twin crashes resulting in a broken pelvis and left femurand a nice limp. Glossy orange and fitted with a racy Stiletto MX tail section, his $800 ’71 Ossa 250 Pioneer looked the business.
More oozed in, including collector Mark Mitchell with a $750 all-original ’73 CZ 250 motocrosser, a Mesozoic spark arrestor clamped onto its expansion chamber, plus Ferrari mechanic Kirk Sloan with a street-legal ’65 BSA C15 scrambler. Formerly a greasy old chopper, the freebie Beeza is now outfitted with a Husky fork and wheels, full knobbies and an electronic speedometer. Sloan rides it everywhere, on-road and off. Next came John Fosmire, a Bultaco restorer with a Legend of the Motorcycle award to his credit, with a ’70 Matador he got in a trade involving a diamond for his wife. But the cruelest pairing was pulling Luke, my 16-year-old son, off his modern bike and putting him on a $250 ’72 Ossa 250 Pioneer born two decades before him. It’s orange, I said. Just pretend it’s a KTM.
Realtor Bryson’s $800 Ossa proved a worthy trailbike until its carb DNFed. The 250cc Pione
When a shiny Acura pulled up outside, I knew a fresh victim had arrived. It was Jeff Karr, former Motorcyclist executive editor and the brains (?) behind Last Page. As an early-adopter type who subscribes to Wired and Scientific American, Jeff is invariably first to embrace the new and eschew old piles like those now infesting the driveway. He approached warily, pristine gearbagin hand, like an Ohio State fan entering a Michigan bar. I wasted no time introducing him to his loaner machine, a third Ossa. Sporting 3 inches of shock travel, 40-year-old Spanish seat foam and a tragic twin-needle IRZ carb, it was a dirty old dominatrix ready for a good time.
The posturing began as former AMA Superbike racer Thad Wolff rolled up, not with his promised early Yamaha DT1, but with a street-licensed Honda XR650R. Claiming he couldn’t get the Yamaha started, he’d snaked his way into a modern ride. This time only, dude. But at least we’d have one foolproof bike to tow us home...